Blog

This year, to count the Omer, we shared daily reflections on our Facebook page. You can find all the reflections below to peruse and meditate whenever it works for you!

DAY 1

Inspired by what we learned from Rabbi Amy and Rabbi Michael during this morning’s Coffee Talk, we invite you to join us in counting the Omer this year. As Rabbi Amy and Rabbi Michael noted, this sacred time is all about moving from our own personal “narrow places” to the maturity and intention we need to truly live freely.

Maybe this means you set aside some time each day for personal reflection and meditation. Maybe you commit to one daily act of kindness. Maybe you plan a walk each day, completely free from screen time or other interruptions. Maybe this is the inspiration you need to start that journal or daily yoga session or art project or…

However you decide to mark the days, we hope you’ll choose to set aside a time each day to count the Omer with us, to intentionally live these days differently, and to embark on this journey of personal growth.

Here are some additional links that offer additional resources for reflection:

Introduction to Counting the Omer: https://www.ritualwell.org/ritual/introduction-counting-omer

Counting the Omer: A Mindfulness Practice: https://www.ritualwell.org/ritual/counting-omer-mindfulness-practice

Middot Omer Calendar: https://www.ritualwell.org/ritual/middot-omer-calendar

 

Day 2

Good morning!

Today is day two of the Omer.

Today, take some time to think about your priorities. Many, if not all of us, are operating outside our regular routines. Our well-oiled systems to do-all-the-things have changed. Perhaps it is becoming clear that our self-expectations need to bend to reality, or perhaps we are presented with vast opportunities of time that we don't usually experience.

Either way, we are faced with choice. Let's meet this choice with intention and, today, think about where we should put our energy and where we should relieve stress.

 

Day 3

Good morning!

Today is day 3 of the Omer.

Communication. We all know that how we say something is often just as important, or more important, than what we say. Today, take the time to reflect on recent communications. Are you being respectful of all involved? Are there ways you could bring kindness to others - or yourself - through reaching out, letting go, or putting words to the unspoken?

 

Day 4

Good morning!

Today is day 4 of the Omer.

Today, we reflect on small instances of compassion: when you want to respond sharply, but take a breath first instead, when you pause an automatic judgement, when you make your self-expectations more reasonable, when you recognize humanity in yourself and others. Today, before you respond otherwise, take a moment to find compassion.

 

Day 5

Good morning!

Today is day 5 of the Omer.

When we are kind to one another, we are - consciously or not - taking the time to recognize the humanity in one another. We feel the ties that make us all interconnected; making someone's day may, in turn, make ours. When we share a little kindness, we plant little seeds of hope and goodness in the world.

 

Day 6

Good morning!

Today is day 6 of the Omer.

Using a recipe, we carefully read the instructions, measure the ingredients, and follow each step to bring us to our planned and desired outcome - something delicious. As we cook it again and again, we learn what a tablespoon of spice looks like, how thick the mixture should be, what the dough should feel like in our hands. Eventually, we no longer need the recipe, because it has become part of who we are.

Kindness and compassion are the same; we should start with a definite plan and create intentions to get to our desired result. We follow the steps carefully, crafting our routine with care like we would a delicious meal. Eventually, without even noticing, kindness will be so natural - easier to act with kindness than not to - that it will have become part of who we are as people.

 

Day 7

Good morning!

Today is day 7 of the Omer.

As I was looking back for a first couple photo (which I never found), I discovered a snapshot of our prayerbooks: a prayer which seemed so relevant to me years ago and which feels written for today.

Before us lies a new day,
and in the distance, a new world,
ours to create,
by the strength of our faith.

My small choices, my everyday tasks, my intentions and responses are acts of creation, shaping the world around me.

 

 

 

 

 

Day 8

Good morning!

Today is day 8 of the Omer.

Decisions require and deserve deliberation and intention, but sometimes that weighing of the choices is misplaced for me. Rather than giving adequate attention to the matter before I make the decision, I spend time stewing and wondering "what if" afterward. Today, I will focus on being intentional about decisions I make, then, empowered with that confidence, I will stand behind them without second guessing.

 

 

Day 9

Good morning!

Today is day 9 of the Omer.

Many mornings my kids have toast for breakfast. In the privileged world we live, it is a process fraught with difficult decisions - toasted or not, crust on or off, peanut butter or almond butter, honey or jelly, whole or cut...so many choices for such little people. Inevitably, one of them gets distracted and gives an answer without thinking it through - then is devastated by the abomination presented to them to eat. I, too, can be distracted and do not always attend to the decisions I make, which often have much longer lasting repercussions than breakfast fare. This is something for me to work on, so I am not left regretting peanut butter when I really would have preferred almond butter, or forced to double my effort to remake the toast.

 

Day 10

Good morning!

Today is day 10 of the Omer.

Today we seek TRUTH. In Coffee Talk on Thursday, the Rabbis discussed how finding truth can be different than seeking facts in Scripture. Today, too, we need to pick through a wealth of information - and how it can be presented in confusing and misleading ways - to find truth. It takes effort and intention, critical thinking and quiet space, but, like Rabbi Amy mentioned last night at services, if we give it the honor it deserves, we can listen to the quiet voice within us and find our truth.

 

Day 11

Good morning!

Today is day 11 of the Omer.

I'm tired. And, I'm tempted to throw in the towel on some of the best laid plans I had - this is not quarantine specific, but happened even before. Of course, I am definitely in favor of re-evaluating, being compassionate to myself, allowing leeway, but it is key that I do just that: reevaluate. Spend some time and intention on changing decisions, just like I have making them. And, when I do, like this morning, I often see that I just needed to think it through and take a breather to find the motivation to keep the course.

 

Day 12

Good morning!

Today is day 12 of the Omer.

These days, it's not too difficult to know that our choices affect others. With infographics flying around showing how our contacts are exponential and with social distancing in place, this interconnectedness is at the front of our minds. Today, I want to remind myself that this interconnectedness is not limited to the virus. Thinking of the illustrations, I want to follow the chain of my choices and consider their consequences on others:

Buying local produce supports local farmers, positively impacts the environment...

Calling to check in on a family member could brighten their day, they could spread the positivity...

Giving myself time every morning allows me to be more patient with my kids, do better work, make a more positive impact on the future...

 

Day 13

Good morning!

Today is day 13 of the Omer.

What does it mean to make an decision? To really mull something over and know you have been intentional and considered all the options? What process do you follow to feel confident that your decision is solid and something to stand behind?

 

Day 14

Good morning!

Today is day 14 of the Omer.

Today, I awoke to the sound of birds chirping. My kids slept in. I got to have my coffee with only my youngest and my husband, enjoying the chatter of the birds. This time is hard, but it’s also great, and we’re settling into routines, and, regardless, it is what it is. Whether it’s the routine that our family has adopted, or the plan for groceries which I have made and changed and scrutinized and changed again, it is what it is. It’s time to accept the decisions I’ve made, to stop worrying, and to be present - to allow myself to enjoy the songs of the birds.

 

Day 15

Good morning!

Today is day 15 of the Omer.

There is kindness in balance and balance in kindness. Today is a good day to take stock, to check in, to see what you need and ask for it or give it.

 

Day 16

Good morning!

Today is day 16 of the Omer.

I expected it to be rainy and dreary when I woke up this morning, but the sunshine is amazing. There's a perfect beam coming through the window where my desk it; the grass outside is dewy and lush; it's beautiful.

 

Day 17

Good morning!

Today is day 17 of the Omer.

I used to spend a lot of time thinking about truth - big picture, human-wide questions. Now that I have kids, my precious little contemplation time has shifted to much more immediate topics. My mindset has shifted and my perspective has changed, but the grappling with the unknown remains the same.

 

Day 18

Good morning!

It is day 18 of the Omer.

It is so easy to think I should be completely and totally honest with my kids, until they scream and scream for the umpteenth time today that they wanted that particular piece of toast that they said they were finished with earlier and I ate...and then I do a wonderful switcheroo and magically find the missing toast.

Of course that's a silly example, and of course there are things that kids should learn in age appropriate ways rather than in their entirety. But often, I find myself pulling tricks and fudging the truth just because it's easier - to guard some feelings, or, if I'm more honest with myself, to avoid a fit.

These small instances are training wheels, though - I can sit with the disappointed-over-toast child and let him live through that feeling, at the same time choosing to let myself live through the frustration of the tantrum and lost time. I hope I can embrace the role of human over magician and let us both take the opportunity to grow.

 

Day 19

Good morning!

Today is day 19 of the Omer.

I’m struggling to think of a reflection today. I over slept, so I didn’t have my own morning meditation time; I know I have a busy day ahead and I’m having trouble settling my mind.

Instead of taking time and care, I’m feeling pressure against a self-imposed deadline to do something I “have” to do, when, in reality, it’s something I decided to do and is actually very important and helpful to me.

This is where I should start explaining the rosy moral of the story, but I don’t have one yet. Maybe I don’t need one - this is, after all, not a huge problem to overcome - just an opportunity to sit with my feeling of lack-of-inspiration and let it be.

 

Day 20

Good morning!

Today is day 20 of the Omer.

Being at home has given my family some pretty strong motivation to learn new things; most of this credit goes to my husband, who has installed, among other things, a faucet and a brand new electrical outlet. I, admittedly, have not taken on as many diy projects, but I am proud that I successfully made hamburger buns and plan to make tortillas today.

We definitely had the motivation boost of not being able to call someone else to do these tasks or making a quick extra run to the store, but, in hindsight, I think we mostly never even thought about if we COULD do them ourselves.

Now, I in no way want to glorify doing it all oneself - there are many professional trades for a reason! - but, because all my insights come from my children here is my analogy:

I often hear myself saying to my oldest, "You try first; if you still need help, I am happy to!" He can be quick to ask a parent to do something, especially when we have just done it for a younger sibling, but we are working very hard to instill independence by not doing tasks that he can do himself.

This stay at home time has been a bit like saying that phrase to myself: "First see if we can do it ourselves; if not, determine if it can wait." Again, I definitely don't want to idealize this time, nor diminish the great work that so many do.

I am simply reminded that, whether it be diy projects or virtual education or something else, learning and trying something new is empowering.

 

Day 21

Good morning!

Today is day 21 of the Omer.

I read a lot of articles these days. This morning I read one I disagree with. I don't think it is morally wrong; I don't question their premise; I respect the authors and their viewpoints, I just disagree.

Given the topic (not coronavirus), I tend to think I'm supposed to agree with this particular article, but I don't . Because the world is so divided, I'm tempted to discredit or dismiss what I don't agree with, but this is totally credible.

There are just multiple viewpoints. And I just have to sit with that.

 

Day 22

Good morning!

Today is day 22 of the Omer.

It's been 3 weeks of counting - they say that's how long it takes to solidify a habit. It's been even longer being at home, and I think I've done a pretty good job making the most of it. There are plenty (read: lots) of tough moments trying to balance work and kids and...and...and...but, we've enjoyed family time, played outside every day, learned new skills and been very, very grateful that we are in a position to weather this storm so well. We know that is not the case for many people.

But even all the rose-colored-glasses moments are still just living in and making the most of our situation/the world as it is. Because I am able to cope, I feel compelled to explore how I can move beyond that, from tolerating the world to repairing the world.

 

Day 23

Good morning!

Today is day 23 of the Omer.

Sometimes I get an idea in my head and I think something will be just perfect - and it's actually totally, 100%, absolutely unreasonable. It could be a great idea, but what it would take to accomplish, or the timeline I want is just not feasible with my situation.

This has been a growing concern for me: I feel like I used to be able to accomplish virtually anything - back in the days before kids. Now, I feel even more limited in my efficacy compared to the days of child care, high internet speeds, and quick runs to the store.

It's a tough tightrope to walk, but I'm trying to let my big ideas inspire while remaining grounded in realistic decision making.

 

Day 24

Good morning!

Today is day 24 of the Omer.

I'm not sure I have a reflection this morning besides: go outside; be amazed.

I can't believe how beautiful the weather has been lately, and today is no exception. It's a great day to take a deep breath, spend a few moments, and appreciate the beauty of the world.

 

Day 25

Good morning!

Today is day 25 of the Omer.

I can still remember my high school English teacher urging us to "show rather than tell," with our writing. We shouldn't have to spell something out directly, because it should be apparent from our scene-setting.

That's how I want my life to be. I hope to make my core values so apparent from how I live that I don't have to explain them to others.

 

Day 26

Good morning!

Today is day 26 of the Omer.

My husband and I are a bit of a yin and yang, opposites attract kind of relationship. He is often a lofty dreamer while I am more of a grounded planner; he is fun and inspirational, while I am responsible and practical. These are, of course, over-generalizations, but you can get the idea that we have plenty of opportunities to disagree.

Sometimes, this balance is great for a well-rounded discussion and analysis of a topic and we both benefit from voicing our own opinions and learning from the other, making progress to a solution we both feel good about or a decision that works best for our family.

Other times, we have differing opinions on something more distant from our own lives, and we don't need to spend so much time and energy finding middle ground. Sometimes it's still fun to debate.

Sometimes, I need to remember that I don't always need to share my differing opinion, that it's perfectly ok to just listen.

 

Day 27

Good morning!

It is day 27 of the Omer.

If you know me, you probably know that I'm a bit obsessed with planning. I love my planner, I am constantly organizing and strategizing, and my favorite task is figuring out the best way to do something.

Somehow, though, I tend to shirk this process when it comes to my own small goals. Maybe I'm too embarrassed to put them to paper (or computer screen) because I think I should have accomplished them already; maybe I feel like I don't have the headspace to dedicate to my own stuff when I have so much already swimming around in my mind; maybe I'm afraid to fail. It's probably all of the above.

Making a plan to accomplish something gives it weight, legitimizes the effort, provides accountability, and so much more. And the tasks that are important to me deserve that status.

 

Day 28

Good morning!

Today is day 28 of the Omer.

Like many others during this staying at home time, our family has taken up baking bread - daily, semi-daily, six loaves a day, whatever.

We've been experimenting. What if we let it rise longer? What if we use a different amount of yeast? Does it make a difference if we shape it this way or that?

It's fun and delicious work, and we have been so happy to share some successful endeavors with neighbors. It's still work, though - at least the clean up is - and with all the experimenting, we are not always sure if the finished product will turn out.

It can be frustrating to know that our plan may not come to fruition, but it is a remarkable process to work hard at something - to put in thought, time, effort, and precious ingredients - that doesn't have a guaranteed result.

 

Day 29

Good morning!

It is day 29 of the Omer.

I'm pretty awed by the community on my street these days. We've had folks bring us essentials front the store, like milk, mustard, and marshmallows; they've shared personally-decorated cookies; when a kid got a little too independent on his bike, they helped ease our anxiety by keeping an eye out.

Beyond that, we've had porch drop-offs of food and art supplies from family and friends, personal Zooms to entertain the boys while we parents had to work, wonderfully exciting-to-open letters, and so so much more.

The love and support from our community embraces and encourages us.

They say, "It takes a village to raise a child," but I think they should just say, "It takes a village." Period. We all need community to lift us up and to give us others to lift up, and we are pretty lucky to have a great one.

 

Day 30

Good morning!

Today is day 30 of the Omer.

Thank you.

Today, on the Deutsch Early Childhood Center page, we're posting a more formal (and cuter!) thank you to our amazing teachers who have always been absolutely, indescribably wonderful to both kids and parents, and lately have been going above and beyond - doing ice bucket challenges, dropping off art supplies and treats, creating and sharing unique at-home activities, advising via email, and watching with enthusiasm as my kids show off the same toys for the 8th time on Zoom.

In case you missed it, scroll down the feed a bit to see some highlights from the equally incredible TI Religious School teachers who have conquered online education, shared natural backyard recipes, and even used spaghetti as a teaching tool.

Then there's all of you who have checked in with each other, done grocery runs, sent flowers while sick, shared puzzles, and commented on Coffee Talk or Shabbat services to give us that, "Hey! I feel the same way!" feeling.

As we all cut back and step back and realign, thank you for showing how important and adaptable the TI community is and for making me feel as welcome, seen, and supported as I do when I walk through the doors.

(Usually late. And with a crying kid, or two, or three - and still welcomed anyway!)

Thank you.

 

Day 31

Good morning!

Today is day 31 of the Omer.

Most mornings, I draw inspiration from the Middot Omer Calendar (linked below). It gets me reflecting and then I share some thoughts with you. (Other days I go rogue and share whatever is brought to the forefront of my mind.)

Today, the prompt is to be honest about how I see an aspect of myself. First I thought of flaws and wanting to correct them, especially in my at-home relationships. Then, I thought of self-care via giving myself some leeway in my expectations.

(Clearly, I was very inspired by Rabbi Amy's sermon last night; it's also linked below.)

There was plenty to think about, but nothing I particularly wanted to write about, so I returned to the Middot Omer Calendar for more inspiration from the theme of the week. The quote provided is:

"Always seek to learn wisdom from every person, to recognize your failings and correct them. In doing so, you will learn to stop thinking about your virtues and you will take your mind off your friend’s faults."

But, because I read it before coffee or glasses, I thought it said to "recognize your feelings," and in my fuzzy memory it told me that doing so would take my mind of virtues and faults, without specifying whose virtues and faults.

It must have been the message I wanted or needed to hear, because it clicked; if I can be honest and upfront with myself about how I am feeling - and how those emotions might be affecting my actions - I can be more intentional in my relationships and more compassionate in my self-review. I can sit with my feelings and let them inform but not dictate my actions. I can work toward respect while respecting my own humanity.

 

Day 32

Good morning!

Today is day 32 of the Omer.

I would be remiss if I did not reflect on my own mother today, but it would, unfortunately, not be unusual. My mom is the kind of person who is so absolutely supportive and understanding that it is just too easy to take her for granted.

There is never a question in my mind that she "gets it" and is, therefore, the person who always seems to be the one to bend when I just can't do it all.

I know you know this sort of person - the one who it's safe to disappoint or ask for help or be vulnerable with or lay your soul bare because she will, without hesitation, love you anyway.

Thank you, Mom and moms everywhere, for your unconditional love and for your example of how to love that way.

 

Day 33

Good morning!

Today is day 33 of the Omer.

(The counting may seem a little off, because I am counting in the mornings rather than the evenings; tomorrow is actually the day to celebrate Lag B'Omer.)

My grandmother is an amazingly independent woman who is struggling with losing some of that freedom with age. I can't imagine grappling with what she is facing, but I do know that I grieve much of my own independence quite often, still almost five years after having kids.

I know others play "what if" about job situations and family situations and so much more. I"m not saying that's a bad thing. Dreaming and change can be amazing.

But, so can surrendering to the now. I don't dare speak for my grandmother - I truly can't understand what she is going through - but I know that, as much as I get frustrated with my ties and tasks and delays, that I can only really appreciate the now - and tackle my lists - when I pause my "what ifs."

 

Day 34

Good morning!

Today is day 34 of the Omer.

(Remember, day 34 really starts tonight, so most people are celebrating Lag B'Omer last night/today.)

A very short reflection today:

Sometimes, it feels really freeing to admit that I have no idea what I'm talking about and to defer to someone else's expertise.

 

Day 35

Good morning!

Today is day 35 of the Omer.

It's a rough morning. Sometimes I'm not sure how things can get so derailed even before 7:00 am, but, well, they do. I can so easily catch the spiral and get in the mindset of self-blame or self-pity, but, today, I'm going to do my best to take a deep breath - or forty - to have another cup of coffee, and to roll with it. Wish me luck.

 

Day 36

Good morning!

Today is day 36 of the Omer.

This week's reflections center on order and routine - two things that I have found extremely helpful during this stay-at-home time. It is remarkable, when there are so many things to think about, how much it can help to have something NOT to think about, NOT to decide. It is remarkably comforting to know what comes next and what goes where and to feel like something is happening how it belongs when so much of the world feels uncertain.

 

Day 37

Good morning!

Today is day 37 of the Omer.

So, yesterday, I commented that it is really calming to have some daily decisions standardized, so we don't have the weight of making them over and over. It's nothing crazy, just a routine that keeps us on track when trying to do all.the.things.

After listening to Coffee Talk yesterday, though, I am reminded that our routine can only take us so far. Our family policies are great, but unusual circumstances still arise. And, these days, there are unusual, new circumstances all the time.

Like Rabbi Michael said, what is important, looking back, is not necessarily the actual decision, but the process and arrival at a decision that feels right. Putting thoughtful, intentional order to chaos. Working through the difficult decisions with my co-decision-makers with the goal of feeling as at peace about the new life choices as I do about the tried and true routines.

 

Day 38

Good morning!

Today is day 38 of the Omer.

From the past few days, you can tell that I love routine. More than loving it, really, I rely on it. There's just no way I could direct my boys to clean up after a meal every.single.time unless it was part of our daily flow - and, therefore brings about fewer arguments and power struggles. There's also just no way my brain could survive motherhood unless I know that, each morning, for just a little bit of time, I get to "tag out" to drink some coffee and focus on work.

All this being said, of course we stray from our plan. Multiple times a day. And, often, those times are 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥.

My day-to-day allows my brain to calm just enough to really be there, in the moment, and able to completely fall down the rabbit hole of discovery when my kids are playing with water in our "creek" and using rocks to change the flow and engineer bridges. It allows me to spend hours at the feelings board hashing out sibling rivalries and parental frustrations, knowing that we'll get to "fingernail clipping Friday" during tomorrow's chores time. It's knowing that my kids can be (somewhat, temporarily, and occasionally - they're still kids!) contented during free play time so I can spend "one more minute" on a creative idea I drummed up that never takes just one more minute.

I'm very grateful and very proud of the energy, effort, and thought I've given to the mundane, every day bits of life because it allows me to recognize and attend to many sacred moments at home.

 

Day 39

Good morning!

Today is day 39 of the Omer.

I don't know if you've seen the meme going around, or even The Princess Bride, but a good one that has me laughing lately shows the officiant of the wedding from the movie saying instead, "Qwawantine..."

Of course, it is "mawwiage" that keeps my household together today, during this time of small family bubbles. It's surprising, then, how easy it is to NOT prioritize those first-tier relationships when there is, in theory, less to do beyond that circle. I feel pulled in so many directions and unable to keep up that, often, it is still those to whom I'm closest - who, right now, I am with 24/7 - who get taken for granted and whose relationships get a bit neglected.

So, today, when my reflection prompts me to uphold a long term commitment, I will try to remember that it is actually "mawwiage" not "qwawantine" that keeps us together today.

 

Day 40

Good morning!

Today is day 40 of the Omer.

These chilly rainy days make me want to put on some cozy socks, pour a warm cup of tea, and curl up with a blanket and a book. I want to cook warm, bubbly pasta or steaming bowls of soup. I'm pretty sure this is just what you do on days like this.

My boys don't necessarily feel the same way. They want to pull on their boots and play in the rain, stomp puddles, float leaves down the creek, and get muddy. When they come in, they don't even like hot beverages - they drink their tea tepid at best.

This happens a lot - I love to see them play in the rain and have a blast - but I usually don't partake. I pull on my fuzzy socks and watch from the window. Of course, some of this is because I have other tasks to attend to, but some of it is just that I'm sticking with my idea of how to handle the day rather than theirs.

Then, every once in a while, I burst through that comfort zone, or really just the definition of how something should go that is so solidified in my head, and I try someone else's way. It's not always great - especially on days when we are unacceptably low on coffee - but it's definitely a good reminder that there are so many ways to approach the same thing, and it's worth giving some different methods a try.

 

Day 41

Good morning!

Today is day 41 of the Omer.

Some days are - seemingly inexplicably - busier than others. I'm not too sure why several tasks/commitments/zooms/whatever always seem to cluster together, but they do. It is so tempting, on those days, to look at my planner and preemptively give up.

Now please, please don't take this as a judgment of anything that works at your household, because that's not what I'm getting at in the slightest.

But, for us, we have a method that can be super intense and exhausting, and is definitely very hands-on, but it works the best in our little home. On the busy days, like today, I am tempted to "cave" and declare a tv marathon, convincing myself that I won't pay for it later like I usually do.

Again, I, in no way, shape, or form, mean to criticize what works for others, but screens are like wine at our house: one glass is great, but too much and the headaches just aren't worth it.

I know I'm kind of off on a tangent, but my point is this: we have a plan. It works. If things go amiss, of course, we adapt. We do daily. We alter our plan daily, too, to account for various meeting times and the like. But what I'm talking about is getting discouraged and giving up before there is any need; I'm talking about not trusting the plan that we worked so hard to craft.

Today, we're sticking with it.

 

Day 42

Good morning!

Today is day 42 of the Omer.

I don't know if it is just the sources I check, but it seems like the weather forecasts have been even more inaccurate than usual. Quite often, it's been fantastic - dreary rain predicted, but sunshine in reality.

The thing is, I try to plan activities and meals to coordinate with the weather, and it often hasn't been quite as expected. There have been a few nights of hot soup on hot days. There have been other days when our soup plans turned into makeshift salads of the same ingredients that didn't feel quite as cozy as soup.

Even in these insignificant examples, it is easy to see that we are presented with many opportunities daily to decide whether we should stick with the plan or roll with the situation.

Our family is being faced with many more choices at the moment - as I'm sure yours is - about how we should stick with our plan and what ways we want to or are forced to adjust to the changing situation in the world/area.

Sometimes we sweat with the soup - and we don't even mind, and sometimes we do our best to cobble something together with the ingredients we're faced with.

 

Day 43

Good morning!

Today is day 43 of the Omer.

Little kids have big emotions, and sometimes it's a bit exhausting.

Ok, a lot of times it's quite exhausting. I've told you about eating their toast, or preparing it the wrong way, or putting things in the wrong order, or...or...or

And whether it is a little kid big emotion or comments on social media posts or anything else in the world, it is so easy to be pulled into the emotional wave, too. And it's so easy to let those emotions take control of my actions.

Especially when I just asked a child to be aware of how they were balancing a cup and now it spilled and now their plate is wet and they didn't want a wet plate and it's not fair because their brother has a dry plate and they don't.

Even though it's a skill I'm trying to teach my kids, I need just as much to work on separating my emotions from my actions, maintaining my calm, and addressing the suffering - toddler or systemic injustice - with intention and poise.

 

Day 44

Good morning!

Today is day 44 of the Omer.

Do you ever remember being little and hurting yourself, telling your parents that, "It hurts when I do this?"

In an effort to allay the situation, the response was so often a lighthearted, "Well, don't do that, silly!"

I feel like this trick has been handed down for generations - when parents know that the injury isn't serious enough to need care, it is acceptable to try to remove it from the mind to reduce worry.

This could be bothersome for many reasons (and moving beyond minor childhood injuries here): we think something minimal shouldn't cause worry, the worry shouldn't be ignored, we shouldn't let something that causes worry dictate our actions.

And that's totally true; some worries can be debilitating and need to be addressed. Some worries have underlying unjust causes that should be fought.

But some actions aren't necessary, and some causes aren't nefarious, and, every once in a while it's fine to, "don't do that, silly!"

 

Day 45

Good morning!

Today is day 45 of the Omer.

I like to make the best of things. Not necessarily in real life, but at least when I'm writing about them in public. I feel like I'm supposed to put on my rose colored glasses, to look on the bright side, and to find silver linings.

But some things really are hard. And some are downright bad. They make me sad or embarrassed or angry. Or maybe they don't and I don't know why.

I have a constant barrage of distractions at the ready, both sought out and provided unintentionally by daily busyness, so I rarely have to confront these painful truths. Some, like the recent deaths of loved ones, come bounding in anyway, while others, injustices worlds or blocks away, only touch my consciousness if I carve out a little time to honor them.

Today, I'm going to hold space for some of these difficult truths. Maybe I'll be moved to action, maybe I'll be moved to tears, and maybe I won't. We'll see what happens.

 

Day 46

Good morning!

Today is day 46 of the Omer.

Sometimes, I just hit the jackpot. I woke up - sun shining, birds chirping - and read my prompt for the day: "Engage in a practice of stress reduction."

Ok. Twist my arm.

But what should I pick? Should I do some yoga? Maybe fill the bath with lavender and chamomile? Am I just going to regret all the chaos that happens during my time off? Maybe I should stick to something productive - it would reduce my stress to clean the bathroom, right?

I'm not sure how I already created so much anxiety around the very idea of reducing anxiety, but, I suppose I'm just that capable.

I think I'm going to go with something sustainable, something that I can commit to taking just a bit of a breather to do each day (or most days), something I actually did yesterday to reduce my stress, even without a prompt: make my bed.

There's just something about a crisply made bed that makes me feel like there's a little peace in one corner of the world - and that I'm the one who provided that peace.

So that's my plan.

 

Day 47

Good morning!

Today is day 47 of the Omer.

I have not yet accomplished what I wanted or planned to this weekend.

I'm going to get those things done today, but, I'm sure, at the cost of cleaning up the kitchen, doing any of the regular chores, and so on. It's definitely a cereal for breakfast day.

From my own perspective, I have goals of what I want to get done - and, today, I will fail to meet them. This happens a lot, and it's discouraging.

The prompt today is to "let yourself fail." And, thinking about this post, I recalled how into growth mindset my husband and I are. It's awesome to try something new, to work really hard - even though it means there will be unsuccessful attempts along the way. We value that "failure."

So, why, then, have I never applied this idea to my everyday life?

As I'm sure many of you can relate to - at any time in this rat race of a culture, but especially now - there are so many expectations out there, stacked impossibly together and illustrated so accessibly (though not realistically) at our fingertips. I feel like I'm failing all the time. I'm pretty sure that's by design.

But, what difference will it make, if - as an experiment today - I try my hardest to see that failure as a "yet" that comes with the courage and daring and pride of trying something difficult? What if I reframe to: of course I'm failing! I'm working on something amazing - my every day life is amazing - and aren't I glad that I'm risking and accepting failure along the way to work toward something so great?

 

Day 48

Good morning!

Today is day 48 of the Omer.

Today's prompt is to address a place of chaos in my life. First I laughed. I'm not sure if there is a place where there isn't chaos in my life. Mom life.

I immediately started thinking of all the band-aids I'd like to apply. The new routines to implement. The return to routines that work well, but sometimes get thrown aside in the name of going to sleep instead of mopping the floor post-bedtime. You know.

But, the bigger theme of this week is equanimity - rising above anything inconsequential instead of letting it get to me. So, I don't think addressing chaos needs to mean taming chaos. Even for non-parents, I'm sure there is plenty of chaos going around right now. But, how can I live with it and cope with it?

A couple years ago (was it really that long?) I bought some slippers, because, try as I might, I just can't keep the floor swept, and I also just can't handle feeling the dirt on my feet. It sends me straight to red light brain.

It's definitely not a perfect fix, but it's cute now that the boys know to bring me my slippers when they see my frustration building.

I'm hoping to find more fixes like that - carving out little bits of coping in the midst of the tornado happening all around me. I'm hoping that I can learn, bit by bit, to thrive in it.

 

Day 49

Good morning!

Today is day 49 of the Omer.

It's the last night of the Omer, and I already know I'm going to miss doing these reflections. It's so helpful for me to have the feelings of responsibility and accomplishment, a prompt to guide my racing thoughts, and the accountability to actually take some time each day.

What's most helpful, though, is just the actual moment - carving out a time for my own thoughts and feelings that are deeper than what I need to put on the grocery list or how we're doing on sticking to our budget.

I hope I continue this practice, where I inhale and delve into what are often uncomfortable thoughts and truths; I sit with them. I hope I continue to allow headspace for looking out the window at chirping birds and sunshine, so I can recognize and believe, "this is good," and fill my lungs with the gratitude to keep me going through the day. I hope I can continue to use this time, space, and energy let the world seep into my being and get under my skin.

I hope I push myself to continue to hold space to breathe.